Thursday Thoughts: Last Year & This Year

Let's have a little chat about this last year and what I'm hoping for in the New Year. January has always been a time for reflecting on the past and planning and hoping for the future, so now seems as good a time as any.

Be warned... this is a bit of a long one, but it's got some good info I think!

2015

First, 2015 was an extremely challenging year for me. I haven't even really been able to process it all yet, as it's been emotionally exhausting and hard for me to think about. My marriage of 7 years ended and since then it's been one challenge after another. I sold my home, moved 2 times, dealt with health issues in my eyes and feet that have been a pain, decided I need to find a job that I'm passionate abou, and had some separation/divorce struggles (unfortunately these are on-going).

But besides all that, I have found a place I like and my animals like, I've spent a lot of time with my wonderful family, a walked in a 5K, continued with this blog, and I think most importantly I learned a lot about myself and who the real (single) Amber is. I think this will help me in my future happiness both in relationships and by myself. I think I know who I am, who I strive to be, and what makes me tick. I have found that I am more comfortable with myself as person than I ever have been.

It's amazing what a little self-reflection, heart ache, and allowing yourself to be emotional can do for a person :)

Here's what I've learned about me...

I am resilient, although I hit bottom this year and hard a rough time, I am getting through it stronger and hopefully smarter.
I am getting better with emotions - I used to believe that showing emotion was a sign of weakness (let's not even get into that craziness) but now I've learned that it's okay to be sad, angry, frustrated, or whatever. I am allowing myself to feel it and then move on, without dwelling. This is a whole new world to me and I gotta admit it feels better than holding everything in all the time.
I actually may need friends, for years I've relied solely on my SO or family. And although my family is awesome (and they are!) friends provide a different perspective and sometimes just a nice distraction.

2016

So for 2016 here are some of the things I'd like to achieve. I am not setting resolutions here as I don't believe in them... I feel like it's just a way to set yourself up for failure. But these are goals and/or ideas I have in mind for the upcoming year. If I don't achieve them it's ok, but I will be working on making these things happen.

File For and Get a Divorce
Not a particularly fun goal, but I think I need to do this in order to fully heal and move on with my life.

Enter At Least Two 5K Races
I really enjoyed the Race for the Cure last year and would love to do some this year. I would like to run if possible in at least one of them, but that depends on how my feet are doing (grrr... plantar faciitis ruins my fun). My cousin found a bubble race this July that sounds amazing, so I've got some support I think.

Search For a New Job
I'm looking for something closer to my house (my current commute is an hour each way and it's no fun), that pays at least what I make now (more would be better), and really is something I feel passionate about. My current job is hard to care about as it doesn't directly benefit anyone and I'm behind a computer all day. I really want to help people in some manner with face-to-face interactions. Yes, yes, this is a lofty goal, but I'll keep searching and applying until that one comes along!

Date
This one comes after the whole Divorce situation, as who can handle all that drama at once? But I would like to get back out there, meet some new people, and see what the dating world is like these days as it's been a long time for me. I'm nervous and excited but I think it's a good sign that I even want to date so I'm going to run with it.

Do What I Want to Do
I've spent the last 8 years of my lift worrying about someone else's happiness over my own, but that's over and it's my time now. I want to meet people, go to new places, hang out with my friends and family, play with the dog, eat, and decorate, and everything else in just the way I like and doing/eating/seeing what I want. I think it's something I need so I have a more sure sense of self and can therefore be happier with me and in any future relationships I might have.

Oh yea, I can feel it, this is going to be a better year. I am going in with a positive attitude and am hopeful for what the future holds for me. I think this will be the best year for me to be Amber But Better!

What are your goals, hopes, wants for this year? It's okay, you can tell me ;)

2 comments:

UnknownJanuary 7, 2016 at 5:36 PM
My number one goal this year is to stop stressing about money all the time. Everything always turns out fine and I need to stop focusing on that aspect of life. Also I want to buy a house which contradicts number one in a way. Maybe this years goal should be to get my life together haha. Good luck with your goals. Your a strong women and I think you can totally achieve all your goals!

Amber But Better