Why I haven't been blogging as much - Confidence Confession

Oh jeez! I've been dreading writing this blog post... and more than once contemplated not writing it at all. But I thought it'd be good for me to get it all out there and I'm sure some of you will be able to relate. Let's start with a quote that I saw on Instagram recently and it really spoke to me.

So deep breath, let's do this!

Please remember I am not trying to complain, just to explain and hopefully offer some comradery with others having these issues.Over the last few months my body has gone crazy. My face completely broke out, I've had some eye troubles, and I gained quite a bit of weight really quickly. Both these issues and some personal stuff I'm dealing with have led to my self-esteem plummeting and therefore a lack of personal photos.

I have been a fortunate person when it came to acne, in highschool I got the occasional spot but that was really it. Then in the last year or so I started getting little bumps all over my face and hormonal breakouts on my chin. They all went away though eventually and it just became a monthly thing. Then a few months ago all hell broke lose on my face and I had acne all around my chin and up my cheeks. The spots were red and scarring and I just couldn't get them to go away. I am not a person who can pile on the foundation as it looks really fake on me so I had trouble hiding it. This is why I've really slowed down on the tutorials/personal pictures of myself on here. I have finally gotten a grip on the issue though (see this post) and am starting to like my skin better. I have also learned the art of covering spots, so hopefully this will help me out.

Next, I've been gaining weight for over a year now as I changed jobs multiple times and have found it difficult to get back into a routine. That already was messing with my confidence, but then in a two month span I gained around 15 pounds without changing my eating habits at all. And I had started working out. Well this just derailed everything! I found my clothes didn't fit so I've had to buy new clothes in a size I've never been before. And I look in the mirror and the image just doesn't match what I see in my head. In my head I'm petite, as I've always been, but my reflection... is not.

So I'm struggling with finding a way to insert fitness back into my lift personally. I've been much better about watching what I eat and downloaded the MyFitnessPal app to track my calories. I've lost 2 pounds so far, which isn't much but at least it's something. And my wonderful Mom and Grandma took me out clothes shopping and encouraged me to buy fun and colorful summer clothes! If the weather ever changes here I'll be a little more excited to get dressed in the morning. I may not be posting a ton of outfit pictures just yet, but hopefully soon I'll learn to feel more comfortable in my own skin.

And finally, I've been going through some extremely stressful personal issues and I think the stress of it all has been showing up physically in the breakouts and weight gain. I am still hopeful this bad weather (see the quote) will pass and I'll be able to move onward and upward and my body will go back to normal.

Thank you all for listening! I hope this helps some of you, I know it helped me a little. Although, I am still struggling with my personal perception and confidence I will continue to try and blog pictures of myself and not be so overly critical.

2 comments:

CocoMay 11, 2015 at 12:56 AM
Darling, thank you for sharing your personal life details. You clearly are under a lot of stress and that must break out somewhere! I hope you solve the personal issues that put you under stress and then I'm sure your body will go back to its self. If you don't feel like working out right now, why don't you try yoga classes? Be strong dear, I'm with you!
Baci,
Coco et La vie en rose fashion blog - Valeria Arizzi

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