30 Life Lessons - Self-Care
Today is part 3 of my series on 30 at 30 - Life Lessons. And we're going to chat about Self-Care and working on your mindset. This section is focused on how we talk to ourselves, frame our reactions, and care for ourselves.This series has sections; Confidence and Beauty (see here), Living with Intention (see here), Self-Care, Finances, and Adulting. Stay tuned for more great content and to join the conversation!
Self-Care and Mindset
- Recognize that you can't do it all on your own, so find a great support system. Sometimes you need a shoulder to cry on, advice, someone to take your mind off things, or someone to help you out of a situation. Find those people you can rely on.
- Don't let negativity get you down. Hold onto positive thoughts, hope for the future, or pleasure in the little things. Life can be really shitty sometimes, but if you're positive it won't seem so bad and you'll be able to move on more quickly.
- Find what makes you happy! So easy right?!? No! After being married and now separated and going through a divorce, I have had to find myself again. Including those things that make me happy... not my SO, not my family, me. Difficult stuff. So far I've got my animals, watching Netflix on my couch with a blanket, beautiful sunny but not hot days when I can walk, my family, trying new places and food, museums and zoos, shopping, and writing.
- You can't control everyone else, you can only control yourself. This is one of the hardest for me as I'm a bit of a control freak. But I take solace in knowing that I can control my reactions in situations. This has been extremely tested this year, but I'm learning that other people are going to do what they want and I need to be okay with not knowing sometimes.
- Know your triggers. What is that thing that you know will set you off? Mine is when someone insinuates or makes me feel stupid. Once you know your trigger you can work on ways to calm yourself down or other ways to cope and not let it affect you so much.
- Feel your emotions. For most of my life I've had trouble expressing emotions. I didn't like to feel sad, angry, or even overly happy. I just wanted to stay composed and move on to the next thing. But going through a separation, divorce and all the emotions that come with that, I have decided that moving on is not healing. And I want to heal. So now I allow myself to be sad and think about the sad thing and what hurts me about it. Then I accept that I'm sad and that helps me move on from it... really weird idea, but it works I swear!
Join the Conversation!
What do you do to stay positive?
What are the things that trigger you? And how do you control your reactions?
I concur with number 6, taking the amount of time you need (and then some more unexpected) will serve you best in perseverance. People not caring about animals sets me off, I just cry tho not fight. Got to work on composure and setting an example.
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